Today, I tore my calf muscle while skipping and singing Yellow Brick Road. I'm off my foot for 4-6 weeks and don't even have a cool story. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting ready for work. When I stepped back, my ankle rolled and my fat ass landed on it with my foot sideways under me. Now I’m in a boot for 6 weeks and have 6 weeks of physical therapy ahead of me. FML
Today, I tore my ACL while doing physical therapy that's supposed to keep me from tearing my ACL. FML
Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML
Today, I tried a new workout routine at the gym. I was feeling great until I dropped a big-ass weight on my foot and had to go to the hospital. After hours of waiting, the doctor told me that I had a broken toe and would need to wear a cast for six weeks. The worst part? I have a job interview next week. FML
Today, as a treat to myself for completing my exams, I dyed my hair rainbow. In the process of dyeing my hair, I managed to roll over my foot, causing severe ligament damage in my foot and ankle. It's likely I'll end up with a cast. Goodbye summer. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML
Today, I fell down my backyard steps at my own housewarming party, ended up breaking my ankle, and am now non-weight bearing for 10 weeks. I'm supposed to start a new job tomorrow, where I'm always on my feet. FML
Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML
Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML
Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It is a cool story! Were you singing the version from "The Wizard of Oz" or Elton John's? If the latter, you can say you tripped hunting the horny-back toad.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I blame Glinda. That ***** could have sent Dorothy home the second she arrived, but instead made her go through hell just because The Wicked Witch of the West was too scary for her to face herself. Not only that, but who the **** wears ruby slippers without wearing a red dress, too? Red shoes look ridiculous paired with anything else, even a LBD. Glinda wasn't a "Good Witch", she was a Shit Witch. What were we talking about?
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
It is a cool story! Were you singing the version from "The Wizard of Oz" or Elton John's? If the latter, you can say you tripped hunting the horny-back toad.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I blame Glinda. That ***** could have sent Dorothy home the second she arrived, but instead made her go through hell just because The Wicked Witch of the West was too scary for her to face herself. Not only that, but who the **** wears ruby slippers without wearing a red dress, too? Red shoes look ridiculous paired with anything else, even a LBD. Glinda wasn't a "Good Witch", she was a Shit Witch. What were we talking about?
E2dav 5
You lost me at Glinda being a *****. Insulting Glinda is off limits bro
BurnInDemonFire 39
She did **** all, and basically caused Dorothy to go through Hell for no reason. If The Wicked Witch of the West wasn't stood in the splash radius when Dorothy threw the bucket of water over Scarecrow, do you think they would have survived? I don't. By sheer happenstance, they managed to beat the Witch, and only then did Glinda tell Dorothy she had the ability to go home all along. She didn't even prepare Dorothy for what lay ahead for her on her journey. All she did was tell her to "follow the Yellow Brick Road", and ask to see the Wizard upon reaching the Emerald City. After that, she was a total no-show until the balls-up which meant Dorothy didn't leave when the Wizard left. Glinda sucked, and I can only assume the Witch of the South was apathetic to the whole ordeal.
Kristoffer 35
So goodbye, yellow brick road, Where the dogs of society howl. You can't place me in your penthouse, I'm going back to my plow. Back to the howling old owl in the woods; Hunting the horny back toad. Oh I've finally decided my future lies Beyond the yellow brick road.
bullsonyourface 20
actually, that is an incredibly cool story. I look up to you.
Marjo86 29
Same thing happened to me last year. My story is even lamer: I walked from my office chair to the bathroom. Snap.
E2dav 5
Yeah...you're gonna need to come up with a cool story, or you'll never live it down with your mates. Pretend it's a soccer injury or something