Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML
Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML
Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML
Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML
Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML
Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML
Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML
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Top comments
19990231 29
Buying a new welcome mat is easier than replacing everything they would have stolen.
Vahex 19
Were they drunk?
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Comments (40)
WitchyMermaid 3
how do you know so much detail of you were in class?
YepThatsMeee 23
Because this is FML.
BoaNikolaos 14
Maybe they were not trying to break-in? Maybe it is a crew of people who are notorious for denting doors and pissing on mats... You never know
ExtrinityGaming 16
Can you get DNA from piss? Or some sort of something?
RobinGoodfellow 47
What kind of college student has the money and resources to do a DNA test on some piss from their welcome mat???
KVKdragon 26
It's not particularly an issue if the attempted robbery is reported to the authorities and the OP suggests that to them. I don't get why #28 got down-voted since he is correct. DNA can be acquired from a urine sample if someone is willing to try testing it
thecrazymancan 17
You can? Also I'm pretty sure DNA testing is too expensive for anything that isn't murder/rape (hence why the police don't use it for anything that isn't murder/rape).
G00N3R 19
Better than the alternative
Pingvinai 37
Now look if someone you know has a screwed shoulder.
countryb_cth 38
Welp on the bright side at least you didn't get robbed.
youngindian 10
at least they didn't take that ?
AverageJoey 18
Obviously they saw the welcome mat and felt welcomed in, but when the door was locked they found out the mat was lying, they thought to themselves, "I'll show you, Welcome mat!" So they peed on it.
Madalinex 8
Guess you can say he was feeling pissy
sadistmonkey 19
Big Lebowski "hey, at least I'm house broken" comes to mind.
LegendaryMant 4
That welcome mat really tied the room together.
PokemonMaster0 15
"Nice marmot, man."