Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was my husband's sister. A little flabbergasted, I replied, "No, I'm his wife." He went on to say, "Ah! But surely, you're related? Cousins?" FML
Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML
Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML
Today, I was interviewing a potential candidate for a job opportunity. He started the conversation by saying that he was having a weird day because his friend just got married. To which I responded, “Oh, fun!” He'd actually said that his friend got murdered. FML
Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML
Today, a co-worker came back from his honeymoon. He passed by my office to say hi, and mentioned, "I heard you're getting married next year?" I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. He's taking his things out of the house as I write this. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, I was at a "Bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ariannaimelda 7
Hahahaha he's giving you a heads up on what to expect :)
AislinP 13
Congratulations on the engagement! And don't worry, a lot of people are still married and happy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
Haidee 0
Being engaged is the same as just being boyfriend &&; girlfriend! That guy must have married some ****** up women if he is saying that!:) don't worry, you'll be fine!
perdix 31
You know what he really means is that he wants to be in your pants. Guys don't ask girls if they are married for no reason -- they want to know whether they are easily available for sex. If they are married, it makes it a bit more difficult and inconvenient.
Climaxx 11
He didn't see no ring? o-o;
Shoob1 0
People are dumb. Ice been married for 13 years to my husband and am still happy about it. Life is what you make of it.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Unless the people in your life are total assbags.
scottishandrew1 0
Who's ice?
IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7
ice been married , ohhh i've!!
muchagente 5
congratulations to your engagement! and never ignore the hints of fate.
towboater198425 6
When you get married you lose a little bit of your soul everyday until there's none left!
TrollFeeder 10
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
towboater198425 6
After your married for a while you realize it was a challenge When the priest said till death do us part! Just kidding marriage is a blessing
scottishandrew1 0
He is very much correct
Jimboom 12
Thats just what synical single people say to justify their intense aversion to marriage. If you get it right and marry your best friend then you will never be happier than when you are in your other halfs arms. Just don't fall into the trap that most married couples do of A. Getting married to the person because it is better than nothing when you don't love them completely. B. Going to sleep angry with each other. C. Forgetting those important dates (thats what calendar reminders on phones are for)