Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally got the hearing aids that I've needed for years. My dog quickly learned that if he quietly sneaks up behind me and barks, it'll scare the hell out of me. It's now his favorite game. FML
Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML
Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML
Today, I had a phone interview for a better position at work. I've been training my puppy recently not to bark. I put on dog-calming videos while she was in the kennel. During the interview, my neighbor's dog started barking and my dog immediately responded back. My boss ended the interview. FML
Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML
Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML
Today, our deaf old dog not only barks for no reason while lying comfortably on her dog bed, lacking for nothing, she now also barks in her sleep. And not those dreamy little yips either; full barks, loud enough to be heard in the next room. Which is where I sleep. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Metallica36176 16
I would take it off. There are other ways to train your dog not to bark. You just need time to teach her.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Looks like your dog owned you
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Comments (107)
realdealcm 11
That really sucks :( barking is annoying. But congrats on having a smart dog :)
TheCanucklehead 22
No... I thought she enjoyed the constant barking
lonewolf621 17
You should get an electric collar. Worked amazingly on all my dogs.
noahghosthand 12
Why did so many ppl down vote you?
Metallica36176 16
I would take it off. There are other ways to train your dog not to bark. You just need time to teach her.
TheDrifter 24
And try multiple techniques. I always used the sharp reprimand and a glare technique, but I got one rescue dog that would simply cower and pee until you looked away and them go back to what it was doing. I ended up going to the spray bottle.
HaraAishi 8
44 - We popped our dog to get her to stop. It didn't take long til she quit. Extreme, I know. Now we just turn to her and sharply say her name and she listens. I wouldn't dream of doing that to a rescue though.
jedorr07 5
Tough love is always the best way to go. It doesn't take nearly as long for anything else you want to teach them also
shellykjelly 26
Sounds like you need someone to rehablitate your dog, and train you. He is The dog whisprer. Ceaser milan basically
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Looks like your dog owned you
NuggetFarmer99 3
Usually its the other way around.
threer 30
No shit, fuckhead..
mike3775 39
water bottles work great.
MaryJane75 7
I've tried a spray bottle with my dog, she just tries to attack the water.
acrouch 9
Unless your dog likes water, like mine #5. Lol
Wakachulak 22
Have you taken your dog to the vet? I think she may be deaf. Seriously
adam3650 12
Why would a deaf dog hear a sound, then bark louder to drown out said sound?
k_lylepad 19
They're getting smarter. Soon they'll rule us and not the other way around.
RedPillSucks 33
What? Wait... I thought cats were going to rule... *quickly dismantles cat shrine and erects doggie church*
perdix 31
#7, unless your dogs are pulling your sled, herding your sheep or retrieving the ducks you shot, that inversion of who rules whom has already occurred! But my dog is so adorable, I don't mind!
Dawnstempest 17
That's a little cruel. Yes, barking is annoying. But you should have known a dog will bark before you got it. It's like getting a cat and expecting it not to jump, or a bird to fly. If you want something without those qualities, then that is the pet you should have gotten.
Zimmington 21
if Op didn't want annoyances he should've gotten a turtle
9echo 17
Zimmington, you've made quite a name for yourself. Now every time I see one of your comments I feel the urge to thumbs down it.
awkwardlysmiles 12
Not all dogs are the same. Some hardly bark while others bark uncontrollably for no apparent reason. OP maybe was maybe hoping for a dog who seldomly barks, but with all that aside I do disagree with their actions. Why buy such a cruel device when you can easily set aside time to teach a dog not to bark excessively.
MaryJane75 7
How is it cruel? It's not like they put a shock collar on the dog, it's just a noise.
RedPillSucks 33
My dog hardly barks at all. If someone were to break into the house, he's either run to get his tennis ball so they could play with him, or he's show them where all the cash and electronics are. But he would do so quietly.
TheDrifter 24
I find the closer to the size of a football the dog is, the more likely it is to bark incessantly, for no apparent reason. That's why I like my cat, moderate in size but almost completely silent unless it feels it has information that I require.
ShyAnn29 15
You could get a Basenji, they can't bark, but they do make a yodel like noise.
Sora_McKain 36
Yodelay-yodelay-yodelay-he-boo! lol, That is what I imagined when I read your comment lol. I gave three Japanese Chins, they rarely bark but what they lack in barking 've g t bfn eye make up for with howling. (Hooody-hooody-hoody-hooo is what Rey sound like lol)
ShyAnn29 15
91, lol that made me laugh!
tpm45 25
There are collars that squirt lemon scented juice when dogs bark. It worked on mine, and is perfectly humane. You should try one.
Juneyah1017 9
Looks like you have a real life Brian Griffin.
bellydancer82 15
A squirt bottle or hitting a rolled up magazine on top of their crate seems to work nicely. Sorry your dog is annoying you, but you do need to teach it discipline early to save yourself some trouble later on. Good luck!
VeganVampyre 27
You keep your dog in a crate? They aren't inanimate objects, you know. What the hell kind of life do you think that is for your poor dog? How would you like to be kept in a crate?
MaryJane75 7
A lot of people train their dogs using crates/kennels and it is even recommended by vets and dog trainers. It helps potty train them and it keeps them from getting into things they're not supposed to at night or when you're not home.
bellydancer82 15
Considering we have many dogs, male and female, they can't all be out at the same time or they might fight and get hurt. We only put them in a cage at night, and even then they're pretty large and I wake up at 6 AM to let them out. Stop overreacting.