Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML
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Top comments
soiree_fml 0
Don't you just love helpful parents? Good luck getting that habit broken, or at least modified.
lone_wanderer 0
I hate little kids -.-
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Comments (65)
Emma_91 0
lmao. What was your father thinking? #25, what do girls do in the mall that's worse than peeing on ferns?...just curious.
save_me_08 0
i have a feeling he's talking about spending hours in stores...something along those lines
oneandlonely 0
wow this happens to be one of those u really deserved it times like once i was at someones house and her little twerp of a bro whipps it out and pees on her house later i found pee stains all over her house a total lol
neverlandfairy 0
...this seems straight from that adam sandler movie BIG DADDY.
Sharon_Cocks 2
that is the way to learn
silvrdollr 0
He sounds like he'll grow up into an assertive man. Be proud of him! All he needs to learn is the difference between public and private spaces.
cramazing 0
i love all the peeing fmls there hilarious
byaaah 0
LMAO I REMEMBER WHEN MY GRANDPA TAUGHT ME TO PEE OUTSIDE
haydog 0
At least you know he will he a good boy scout:)
Shyman4ever 0
YDI for having a son. YourlifeisG for having a cool dad.
electrolytes 0
plants crave brawndo not pee