Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
soiree_fml 0
Don't you just love helpful parents? Good luck getting that habit broken, or at least modified.
lone_wanderer 0
I hate little kids -.-
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
muffinsareyummy 1
at first i said "wtf" and then i saw you were from west virginia. that explains alot.
BreezyPear 0
Hmm this sounds a lot like the movie "Big Daddy"
jcesom 0
Just because something is in a movie doesn't mean it can't have happened in real life. In fact, usually it means it has.
ReconExpert 0
*Facepalm*
caltain 0
The law of unintended consequences at work, folks.
inkedgeek 0
As a man you learn that the world is your urinal. Rock out with your **** out.
JOKUSPOKUS123 0
How iffy! When i went to Fat Camp we all peed in hedges, but the lady instructor saw me and ran away screaming! Now my adventures stay in my wide collection of Marvel Comic Books! L-O-L ARE YOU ROFLING KIDS, ARE YOU GETTIN' ME DOG? peace out homeys.
EyeoftheSun 0
...You should probably teach your kid that he should piss and crap in the toilet. Just sayin'.
lilbuddy23 0
Mr. Deeds. lol
shankbob 0
I love how everyones raggin on WV, but you all know that every state has people just as goofy as our own. Oh and hell yea I remember when my grandpa taught me how to pee on a tree.