Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML
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Top comments
soiree_fml 0
Don't you just love helpful parents? Good luck getting that habit broken, or at least modified.
lone_wanderer 0
I hate little kids -.-
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Comments (65)
tamoomoo 0
What do you expect? He was just doing what you taught him!
nazooer 11
Read the fml again idiot..
spillproof 0
Well if grandpa can do it!
gemibofrraFTW 0
i agree with #2 and #6 you almost made me piss my pants laughing. =D
lashleigh 0
My ex's family taught his nephew that so he'd stop peeing in his pants. Instead every time he had to go to the bathroom he'd proclaim "MAW MAW I'M GONNA PEE ON YOUR ROSES."
badabing94 0
let a kid live. I grew up on a little 'farm'. We peed and pooped in the trees. haha when we went to school my little brother peed in the courtyard once. but it's no harm!
kc2_fml 0
He learned well... be proud of his fern peeing abilities
Ethan223 8
that sucks and #4 you asshole
ctc9 0
Way to copy BIG DADDY
BeeSkwaird 0
We don't complain (much) about what you girls do in the malls. Let 'im have this.
wet11 2
F that plant life!