Today, my boyfriend's obsession with card tricks reached a new low. He barged into the bathroom while I was taking a crap and asked me to pick a card. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML
Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
You don't want to know where he was going to pull your card from after pretending to mess up the trick…
WCARlover 35
He just wanted you to pick the number two while you were going number two
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Comments (40)
bobsanction 18
He loves you enough to see you taking a shit and still just wants to impress you with a magic trick. Put a ring on that boy.
LyricaSilvan 30
I hope you slapped him.
kutkutkut 8
ahahahahahaha
notjordansime 12
Ironically there's an ad for cards under this...
epiccrazy 15
You're blessed to be cursed with such a friend
Sebof2001 7
Idk I kinda see that romantic in a nerdy way.
LyricaSilvan 30
I, personally, see nothing romantic about violating someone else's privacy over a card trick. Yeah, it's cute that he's so excited and wants so badly to share it with his girlfriend, but Jesus Christ...There are such things as common decency and self-control.
Person58 17
I think you mean "new high"
RichardPencil 32
"Is your card the Queen of Farts?"
species4872 20
You need to deal with that joker.
hkhan24 23
Well that's a shitty situation *prepares for a barrage of downvotes*