Today, I tried playing chess with my wife sober, and remembered why we only play while I'm trashed drunk. She's so bad, I have to be on the precipice of alcohol poisoning to even enjoy playing with her. Otherwise, it's like playing a 2 year-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML
Today, I, a 40 year-old who has been playing chess for over 25 years, was beaten by my own 12 year-old son. To make it worse, I actually fell for the Fool’s Mate, which to those who don’t know is the shortest possible checkmate in chess that only involves two moves. Yes, TWO MOVES. FML
Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years-old. FML
Today, and for almost 6 years, my wife and I have had issues fighting when we’re drunk. I’ve always gotten/accepted the blame. I quit drinking to try and better our marriage. Now she wants a divorce. FML
Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML
Today, I got dragged into playing doubles tennis. It was me and my wife against her parents. I wound up hitting the ball too hard. My mother-in-law, who has the reaction times of a comatose turtle, got nailed. Everyone's convinced I did it on purpose because of our mutual hatred of each other. FML
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Top comments
vchan 20
Did you try to play one of the games she’s good at? Here the only FML I could see was if your wife was the one that kept asking you to play and if she thought she was good. Yes, chess is an « intellectual » sport, but it’s not a real problem to be bad at it. Whining about your wife being bad at it and wanting to keep playing her despite it (instead of teaching her or leaving it alone) is the problem.
Anderling 33
I can’t help but feel like it’d be less effort to just tell her you don’t want to play chess with her as opposed to drinking away all that money and whining about it here.
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Comments (5)
poopface82 25
Try doing it whacked on on ganja to the point where you’re so baker you somehow convinced yourself that New York City doesn’t exist. See how you do then.
vchan 20
Did you try to play one of the games she’s good at? Here the only FML I could see was if your wife was the one that kept asking you to play and if she thought she was good. Yes, chess is an « intellectual » sport, but it’s not a real problem to be bad at it. Whining about your wife being bad at it and wanting to keep playing her despite it (instead of teaching her or leaving it alone) is the problem.
Anderling 33
I can’t help but feel like it’d be less effort to just tell her you don’t want to play chess with her as opposed to drinking away all that money and whining about it here.
RichardPencil 32
Give her vibrating anal beads so she has a better chance. I hear the chess cheaters use them.
1known 34
Teach her!