Today, I feel guilty masturbating to Russian porn on the hub. Then I feel even more guilty because that's just wrong, because people in Ukraine and Russia both have much bigger problems. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, a lack of porn is ruining my life. My boyfriend refuses to verify his age for some reason, so now every time he’s horny he pesters me instead of sneaking off to the bathroom. I enjoy sex and porn too, but not three times a day. I’ve got other shit to do. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecology exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML
Today, I secretly turned off the internet to see what my kids would do. Barely 10 minutes later, I caught my oldest son masturbating to a photo of my sister in a bikini because, as he put it, "A man has needs and the internet's fucked." FML
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Top comments
IHaveThePower 18
Okay look. What Russia's doing is 100% a government thing. You are not going to solve this through individual action or crowdfunding or what the **** ever. NO ONE can do ANYTHING except governments. Pretty much every government on the planet is sanctioning Russia. Unless you did something on purpose to break the sanctions, you have done nothing that will affect a single damn thing in Ukraine. If you want to help Ukraine, go write a particularly nasty letter to the Congresscritters who are getting in the way, or write a letter of congratulations to Biden. But you watching ****\buying a Russian nesting doll\not hating on Russians is not going to do anything negative or positive for the war in Ukraine, because you have absolutely no say in any of this. Also you know Ukranians make **** too, right?
poopface82 25
Lemme guess - you’re the type of person who will turn off a porno if you can’t understand the dialogue. You are an odd individual, and I respect you. I, too, like a little story with my sex.
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Comments (5)
IHaveThePower 18
Okay look. What Russia's doing is 100% a government thing. You are not going to solve this through individual action or crowdfunding or what the **** ever. NO ONE can do ANYTHING except governments. Pretty much every government on the planet is sanctioning Russia. Unless you did something on purpose to break the sanctions, you have done nothing that will affect a single damn thing in Ukraine. If you want to help Ukraine, go write a particularly nasty letter to the Congresscritters who are getting in the way, or write a letter of congratulations to Biden. But you watching ****\buying a Russian nesting doll\not hating on Russians is not going to do anything negative or positive for the war in Ukraine, because you have absolutely no say in any of this. Also you know Ukranians make **** too, right?
SirEnigM0nk 22
Too err is human, to forgive is divine. I'd recommend to find a charity that supports Ukraine and contribute to them. And maybe lay off the web **** for a while. Heck, find a significant other who also supports Ukraine and contribute jointly.
Yudith 28
Better still; find an app that allows you to give one dollar to Ukraine, then give one dollar to Ukraine before any Russian **** video you watch. Ukraine will thank you, and you will get a huuuuge tax deduction.
Grizz8831 14
this right here... this is finding a modern solution to a modern problem. This is both funny and genius. AND they even brought up the charitable deductions which could add up pretty well. helpfull on multiple levels.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Great idea!
RichardPencil 32
Did it have subtitles? You really should stick with English language **** because the dialog is just that good! Give New Zealandese **** a try;)
Nikki 17
Sex with sheep is illegal though
poopface82 25
Lemme guess - you’re the type of person who will turn off a porno if you can’t understand the dialogue. You are an odd individual, and I respect you. I, too, like a little story with my sex.
diraven 15
Also they have much bigger boobs
anjo_ 8
Just having empathy is not going to help anyone. Either you go and actively help or just do not care about it. Each day someone not far from you is suffering. You feeling guilty is not going to help them. My father once fell down the steps. I did not feel sorry or guilty. I looked after him after the incident (bringing food and spending some time talking).