Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
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Top comments
amykillswitch 0
why would you use money. take your underwear off and use those. then throw them in the garbage. so what if you lose a pair of undies and have to go commando all day? at least you would have had money to go buy some more.
McButterpants 0
I prefer to wipe with hundreds but that's me..
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Comments (312)
chocolates 0
id go with #8
IMz0r 0
Gaah.. what a waste! Didn't you have anything else on you? Or maybe you picked the money for humor value... I've always wanted to wipe with money
Dontcrossthetee 0
oh man...that blows. tip for next time : always check to see if theres TP in the stall before exploding! ahahaha
peazeful 0
I didn't think u cleaned anything...money is the dirtiest thing in the world, u hv no idea what it went through, using that to wipe ur butt? No...u didn't clean anything...
vicky93 0
ok well i have explosive diarrhea every other day, and there NO WAY 2 bills could wipe all that shit off i use like half a roll and then i have to wash my ass. so you just wasted 10 dollars
jacobb_fml 0
Stupid; you could've just used the toilet covers. LOL.
alotta_fachina 0
i'd have used the toilet covers or pulled up my pants real quick, made sure no one was around, flush the toilet, then run into another stall with toilet paper.
hudecova 0
AHAHAHAH nice one
AlexC_fml 0
do you know all the disgusting bacteria bills have? dumb ****
Icalasari 0
Wipe with them then wash them off They ARE partly made of fabric, after all :P