Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with, "Liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML
Today, I put on a new outfit, took a bunch of selfies, and posted the best one to Instagram. Ten minutes later, my grandma commented, “You look tired. Are you eating enough?” FML
Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML
Today, I was on a video call with my grandmother, trying to teach her how to use Facebook. I patiently explained the difference between posting a status and sending a private message. Five minutes later, I saw her new status: “I love you, honey. Thanks for being so patient with me. By the way, I still don’t understand this shit.” FML
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
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Top comments
Glassmaster 0
You're cool. Posting fake Facebook starters always makes you cooler.
pandabearsmiles 0
You're cool. Posting pictures of yourself with big headphones and not smiling always means you're cool.
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Comments (295)
nerdsgetmehot 23
Helping your grandma clean is more cool than getting wasted anyway. And as far as I know, being generous doesn't have any bad side-effects. I'm not being a prude, I'm just speaking as someone whom has had experience with hangovers and deeply regrets it.
RyanMacVey 17
ahahaha *cough.loser.cough*
benderbot19 0
gayboii, didn't you just say you wanted people to like you? well, being an asshole won't help.
RyanMacVey 17
i was trying to be funny
FreebirdIII 1
Trying way to hard, and failing. cough
benderbot19 0
gayboii, don't pm me ever again to tell me a comment of mine was moderated. that's pathetic.
RyanMacVey 17
well i guess im pathetic then aint i???
Sirin_fml 47
Will people stop using the comments section as a chat room, please?
HannahForbesxo 13
You're not wrong there gayboii.
benderbot19 0
sorry sirin.
RyanMacVey 17
ugh i said one thing and everyone starts picking on me ):
CSRozell 4
haha agreed
HannahForbesxo 13
That's why you should think before you say things. You actually seem to talk crap constantly.
RyanMacVey 17
im sorry ):
HannahForbesxo 13
*say. On my comment, whoops.
traze 7
Damm. Y'all going to make this kid blow his brains out. "Coming up on the news, former member of FML shot himself after cyber bullying" at 11.
peppermintstick 0
#23 I agree! If someone is going to think you're lame for helping a family member, do you really want to be friends with them anyway?
traze 7
Go **** yourself Kay. You get off on doing this. He said one ******* thing and hop on like nymph on free dicks.
RyanMacVey 17
this site depresses me... i hate myself even more than a did before everytime i come on here .... i would just leave if i actually had anything better to do
traze 7
Of course it affects me. He's ******* 15 and you are how old?...
HannahForbesxo 13
Traze, I'm 15 as well and even I can see the blatant idiocy in some of his comments, I also don't expect to be treated any differently for it so that's not an excuse.
traze 7
It's a ******* website, what point of it is going to make a difference? It's like laughing at a man that can't walk...
benderbot19 0
gayboii, please. you pull this shit all the time and then cry about it. don't do it if you don't want the reaction.
RyanMacVey 17
114 - thanks fur helping me out mate... i appreciate it but i think we all know that this was my fault and no one is on our side... thanks anyways
sicofthsht 1
Thank you for manning up. But still, don't pull that stunt again. It was pointless.
traze 7
Kay you yourself is no better than a troll. For you seek out a statement of a troll and then begins to defecate on it and isn't one part of the definition of a troll is one who wants to make an identity of his or her self...
Sirin_fml 47
Enough is enough guys; please cut it out. Nobody wants to see or scroll all the way past this many pointlessly angry voices. It's an entertainment website, not a bashing ground. Thanks a lot, guys and girls. :-)
nerdsgetmehot 23
Well, that was entertaining. Can we stop now?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
*waves* Hi nerds. :)
CateXOX 0
I would just like to say that you're all as bad a gayboii. There's no need to fight fire with fire over one harmless troll.
nerdsgetmehot 23
JANE! :D *Wave* #159 I would just like to point out that I didn't harass gayboii after he insulted me. *Shrug*
CateXOX 0
167- Don't worry, I wasn't accusing you. :)
solidus106 0
fyl op WTF ITT ... lol cool story bros
Egnar 19
The sad thing isn't that you helped your grandmother with clean - It could have been New Years Eve on a Saturday and it's still an admirable thing to do, even if all your friends start calling you "gay" and whatever other slang people use in your area. The sad thing is that you felt so pressured to pretend to act the way you 'think' people are supposed to act that you needed to lie about a feeling that isn't even worth feeling, ever, in order to look cooler. You should probably reevaluate yourself just a little bit.
CateXOX 0
Finally someone on FML with sympathy for others and more emotion than an egg.
sicofthsht 1
I am so glad to see that someone on this site doesn't act like a complete moron. Well said, 26. I agree with you 100%.
omgwtftoni 0
loser
txgirl2013 14
you should have commented..."I snuck out last night also"
HahaYDI 0
*Likes your grandma's comment*
ECMchase 0
comment moderated because the OP is a dumbass
sicofthsht 1
;D OMG, did you just moderate yourself? Too cute! I like that.
LukeNukem_fml 3
and just what are you hoping to achieve from that? idiot.
mustang95 7
What's your MSN
perdix 31
Why couldn't you be drunk-cleaning? I thought you hillbillies drank cleaning fluids to get ****** up when the moonshine runs short.
CoconutMuffin 5
That's messed up
daminantion 14
Funny, I thought the same of all Americans. >.>
CoconutMuffin 5
239- Why the hate? I don't get people who judge by country you reside in. Not my fault I was born in this country. That's just as judgemental and close minded as racisim. Go get a life and be happy, troll.
CateXOX 0
Nah, I bet you and your grandma are party animals.