Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, while working in a kids shop, I absentmindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then heard a deep man's voice say, "I'm not a little man." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, "No way" or "It looks great on you", I accidentally said, "Yeah, I know." FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
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Top comments
CLINTRONxD 0
You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious
ohmygawdz 0
I bet you do, you little boinger you.
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Comments (289)
The_Master 0
yeah, i can see how that can be taken in a totally negative way...wtg on the wording. YDI for sure, for being a kid-toucher...
wholegrain 0
I bet that sounded pretty odd
takran 0
Why don't you have a seat right over there...
cruzersgirl2213 0
"Have a seat, right over there." OMG. I laughed so hard at this. You're a f*ing genious!
_krystallynn_ 11
i dont get it.
crudeandrudeguy 29
@292- To catch a predator with Chris Hansen. That's what he says to the pedophiles that show up to have sex with a 13-year-old
rockinbalr14 0
You owned yourself.xD
bluegab123 0
Hahaha
xmcr4lifex 0
:P that's ok people always say stupid thingsXD
bishoprsv2 0
Aw come on! Who moderated this crap. Worst FML ever!!
littlemisslee 0
You have a condition known as verbal dyslexia. when you try to say what's in your head, but word it wrong. That, or you don't think before you speak.
twinscrplayer6 0
or it was just a Frudian slip or w/e. just because he accidently said something doesn't meen she automatically has some sort of condition so stfu.
pointedancer96 0
CREEPER?!?!?! :(
TasteMyInk 0
Haahah oh man. That's priceless!