Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it was. He just paused, turned to look me in the eye, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML
Today, once again, my family had a loud conversation over the television show I was quietly watching. Ironically, the moment they watch something they like, even if it's a re-run episode, you have to be quiet or you'll be called a monster. Simply say "Hi" and they'll pause the TV to look at you like an annoyance. FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, whenever my dad says something and I (genuinely) don't hear him, he repeats it in an extremely slow and condescending manner. My family says I should "get a sense of humor" because I'm rightfully pissed about this. FML
Today, I spoiled a TV show I've seen that a friend has started binge-watching by saying, “Episode 7 really did my head in.” His face turned from excitement to annoyance, and has vowed revenge, saying, "Great, I'm going to be anticipating episode 7 for the next few hours thanks to you, stop talking to me." FML
Today, my father is incapable of doing anything without cursing and swearing so loudly that the neighbours hear him. If I ask him what’s wrong or to stop swearing at inanimate objects, he starts yelling at me for "jumping all over him." I can’t win. FML
Today, for the first time in my 20 years of life, I heard my dad unironically say the f-word. I was so shocked by it that I became became practically frozen for a full minute, which is not a very good thing to happen when you're at work, and your boss is watching you. FML
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Top comments
broderickc 13
Your dad sounds awesome.
Superstitious 6
Shut up.
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Comments (153)
ClaireWinchester 17
How is that FYL? That's awesome I wish my dad did that.
DaisyDanger 7
That is hilarious! My boyfriend has a CD of all the songs and songs them all the time! It makes me laugh!
ash1rose 11
Where did he get a CD of the songs? I've been trying to find one of those for ages!
LemonandLime 13
I like songing.
Welshite 40
Olpally? Edit: This is why I should read the comments before posting.
olpally 33
Yeah... It's not me. My dad watches criminal minds and other various things, like drag racing. Nice try, haha.
jw90 18
I can see where it's annoying but that show is hilarious.
flyersfan345 5
You want a popsicle to feel better? I got a whole freezer full.
esines 9
Get your fat ass over here
Lunasis 14
whoever can swallow the most Tylenol pm wins :D
Dre27 20
Legend for sure, I want your dad
ghil15 8
poor meg! lol
caitylynn05 16
Do the same to him from a show he finds annoying. He'll get the hint.
Lunasis 14
quote constant my little pony at him, he'll curl up in a ball more or less
yumyumpoptart 16
come on, that was kinda funny:P at least he got a sense of humor though, not right strict and uptight.
lolita88_fml 27
He's right...Meg...