Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML
Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
The tradition of eating the top tier on the first anniversary is ridiculous. We tried that, and the cake was as moist as an 80 year old pussy. You should thank him for saving you from eating that.
MarineWifey88 3
My husband spent our first anniversary in Iraq. we didn't get to spend an anniversary together until our 4th anniversary and by then, we were scared of the cake and threw it out.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (187)
hansbaby 0
year old cake? and he still ate it?
cupcakes729 7
you saved it for a whole year......?
MrWezful 3
Your stupidity beats me. It got frozen. Frozen food does not get out of date or rot since the bacteria can't live in such cold temperatures...
bgraber04 1
its ok OP. tastes like shit anyway in my experience
weedpecker 6
we didn't even have cake... way too tacky and old fashioned.
cami197934 3
That's soooo gross, you wouldn't have enjoyed eating year old cake anyways
cami197934 3
That's soooo gross, you wouldn't have enjoyed eating year old cake anyways
DiceLover 7
You kept a cake for a year? ...
P1Nk13 7
ew, why would you eat cake thats a year old? thats disgusting.
bluevayero 42
the cake is a lie, so no worries