Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me." My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was getting into a Uber after a long day at work. I opened the door, sat down, and started venting to the driver about my horrible day. Five minutes in, I realized I had climbed into a random stranger’s car. He didn’t even tell me; he just let me complain. FML
Today, I got into an Uber, said, “Hey! How’ve you been?” to the driver, thinking he was a friend of mine. The guy suspiciously replied, “Uh, I think we’ve never met,” and we both sat in uncomfortable silence for the rest of the ride. FML
Today, I was on the worst blind date ever, so I tried to secretly request an Uber to get out of there. My date then picked up his phone, receiving my request. Turns out he's an Uber driver and he was looking for a reason to get out of the date too. FML
Today, I got into an Uber, excited for the date I was going to. After about 20 minutes, I had a confused conversation with the driver, because it seemed like we were going to the wrong address. I checked the app, I'd booked a ride to my ex’s place out of habit. FML
Today, a guy who'd never used ride-share before asked for help at the airport. I thought we hadn't figured it out yet, so I canceled mine, which doubled my fare when I ordered it a minute later because we'd actually had figured it out. FML
Today, it's my first day as an expat. Hoping to arrive early for work, I hailed a cab. The driver took it upon himself to take the scenic route and play tour guide, no matter how much I refused. Not only was I late, he turned violent when I refused to pay his $100 fare plus a "talent fee." FML
Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML
Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML
Today, I caught a ride with a coworker in their new Mercedes. They spent the drive passionately talking about how it made them a better driver and all the people that say otherwise are idiots. After running three stop signs and nearly sideswiping a minivan, I decided to walk the last mile. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend of 10 months to rent a car, for which he needed his dad to sign for. To avoid introducing me, he banished me to the nearest airport terminal, and picked me up 45 minutes later, around 11:30 p.m. FML
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Top comments
davek 36
Get a goddamn train then.
Tempuser117 2
Don't get in! He probably doesn't have any candy and didn't really lose a puppy. You always have a choice! Cheap-ride is already a scary name for something like that.
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Comments (75)
imhowie 2
Are you freaking insane??? Just don't meet him and ride the train!
nick4444 0
The movie "Human Centipede" also comes to mind.
EricaCookies 0
I don't see how. The people in Human Centipede didn't go in by choice apart from those girls.
cul8r 4
I live in Munich and will keep my eyes open!
megamandude455 10
I like what op put at the end.
hahafylop 4
yeah tht made it funny
bigbadtim 7
If it wasn't for how serious and disturbing this is, it would be really funny.
lovelyliz916 5
Well I'm commenting on this hoping that you're still alive. If not RIP OP you will be missed!!
happy_dino 6
LOL!!
krez 20
Not everyone who drives a rape van is necessarily a bad person!
Phustercluck 11
I've got candy, get in the van!!!
EvilDave 13
OP, you don't deserve a ride. The guy is nice enough to give cheap ride and you think he is a serial killer because of the vehicle he drives? Maybe he has a windowless van because it was cheap or it is a work van. Oh, right, I forgot, you are a jerk who judges people without ever meeting them. Do the nice man who offered to do something nice for you a favor, call him and tell him you are an ass and he would be better off giving a ride to someone else.
Fortuitous 0
Or as a favor, she could just give him a hand job and escape with her life.
Asynja 4
And with all that in mind, let's tell our kids it's ok to help strangers find lost puppies and go to their houses for cookies and milk. After all, it's wrong to assume there are bad people out there and we really have no way to know who they are until it's too late. Yay for naïveté.
vjiockzx 0
well she did quote "excited to see me" so if the guy actually got a boner right then and there then you can't really blame her for being suspicious of him can you :/