Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML
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Top comments
Bricktothehead 21
He was facing the wall, in bed, while he listened to someone grunting behind him. I get the feeling he may have been the one spanking the monkey.
bwoolf96 21
What a wanker.
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Comments (48)
chessu 21
You totally deserved it. You thought your room mate was sleeping and you still decided to pursue a noisy activity in the same room? Couldn't you have gone to a common room our outside or something?
littlekellilee 45
Noisy? How do you do push ups to make them a noisy activity?
chessu 21
Well clearly the OP did somehow. Surprised about the down votes tbh. Would've thought wanting to sleep in complete silence wasn't as rare of a thing..
littlekellilee 45
Probably OP didn't make much noise except for a couple of quiet groans and the light noise of his clothes shifting as he moved. Definitely not noisy if the roommate was asleep.
delfino1604 24
you gotta tie him down in his sleep and beat him with a sock pull of quarters. or a pillow case full of bars of soap.
boxergirl1054 16
Why would he go and tell everyone tho?!?
delfino1604 24
cuz young boys are assholes
derangedplanet 23
Tell everyone else he believed you were wanking and he laid there and listened to it all. plus I assume you're not too young judging by his assumption and the working out. maybe you should just make good fun out of it and start occasionally moaning whenever you're behind him and he can't see you.
soldier084 11
unless youre doing push ups wrong it wouldnt sound like that
WitEluded 13
The best defense is a good offense. Call him a pervert for picturing you masturbating while you were working out. That being said, you still probably want to tone down your noise level when doing push ups, especially if doing it while others are trying to sleep.
beeferjay 34
maybe you should have beat the meat, you sound amped up
Glynnis62 13
Oh, I bet he wishes you did.
Tyyeezyjr 13
Sounds like it's gonna be a long camp stay , stay strong OP
worldclassrager 41
I used to run around the soccer field try that next time
dimwittedshit 11
If it was bedtime, I don't think OP would have been allowed to go outside, if they even had a soccer field.