Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML
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Top comments
Bricktothehead 21
He was facing the wall, in bed, while he listened to someone grunting behind him. I get the feeling he may have been the one spanking the monkey.
bwoolf96 21
What a wanker.
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Comments (48)
JohnEvans 3
has anyone noticed people aren't saying yolo as much? or is it just me?
Crucio 13
Sure you did , Jan.
MrWaffles6969 15
He sounds like a jerk off to me.
Candijpg 17
is this related to the other FML about making new ground rules?
bakeith6993 13
Honestly I'd just say I did it and show so much bravado that they wouldn't have a choice but to be jealous
Drnavid 13
Wondering what's the first thing that comes to your mind whenever you want to do push-ups..
tehdarkness 21
You should have just beat off. It probably would have been quieter.
trucker2 33
Tell him hell yah, I jerked it...USED YOUR SOCK too
LosinIt2008 14
lol mmmmmmmmmm;)
Sandman2015 12
These people have jerked off before right? Because doing pushups and taking care of business look and sound nothing alike.
trucker2 33
Cum on now, dude had death grip on it. Beating it, like it stoled money from him.......