Busy?

You tried

Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

Today, in an effort to look more professional at work, I wore high heels. My boss decided today would be a great day for me to walk around on the sidewalk holding a sign to advertise instead of doing the job I was hired for. FML

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

Great replacement

Today, my boss dropped a highly important and dense report on my desk that had to be finished by the end of the day. After the initial panic attack and hours of scrupulous work, I finished. She then asked me to pick up the revised copy, where my name was replaced with hers. FML

Today, my boss used our communal notebook to bitch out our entire department for not leaving a note notifying her that one of the machines was down. She wrote it on the same page as the note I left saying that one of the machines was down. FML