Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML
Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML
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Top comments
Kriyptic 8
At least the cop walked away and you didn't get arrested. Congrats on getting married though OP. Hopefully you have a great marriage.
Sunkissedgal 6
Now I see who wears the pants in the relationship.
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Comments (104)
trippythehippy 6
I know as a male you want to get in her pants. But relax. You're trying WAY to hard
tsprings 2
Haha! This comment took me way too long to laugh at! But funny! (:
trippythehippy 6
You know... She who laughs last thinks slowest.... Meh I probably tried to hard
skyeyez9 25
I am picturing OP trying to fit his wife's pink skinny jeans on.
wubbazugg 5
Either you're a rather rotund guy, or your wife isn't a heifer.
crice2608 3
thats my kind of cop!!! with a sense of humor.
Madam_Keena15 0
Teach me ur magic bro lol
TADspace 30
You made a cops day, and didn't get a ticket/arrested. I say things went well.
Octwo 16
If it was in a private spot it's not really a big deal. Cops usually are just making sure she's not being forced.
outoftown 27
Congrats, OP. And thanks for an adorable FML.
Ronican 1
your life doesn't suck too bad. firstly you didn't get arrested or even a ticket. second you're newly married to some who is open minded on public sex. third your wife doesn't wear the same size pants as you.
qBAMFp 8
that's actually just funny