Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Burglary [gone sexual]
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Australia
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
Starving Ultimatum
United States
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
mike oxsmall
United States
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Mike
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
iliketoastalot
United States
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Anonymous
Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML
Anonymous
Saudi Arabia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, it's my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises behind the front door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights… as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
alo1434
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Great timing
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Anonymous
Woodland, United States
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Top comments
firemanrob 0
haha you should of used your penis as a gun cocked it and shot **** in there face
x_Cupcakes 0
Haha! Did they join you?
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Comments (252)
Bob_Blaine 0
This is by far the best FML I have ever read... ever...
tailormarie 0
That is really ******* funny.
Bcabalum17 2
that is one of my biggest fears lol
AceArctic 4
Obvious solution: **** in their eyes, punch them in the throats, and proceed to tea bag them and say "I used my fapping arm for that attack!"
killloneliness 0
should of said "I will shoot YOU!"
ninjalope 0
you idiot that's what you get for wanking
ninjalope 0
can't wait to hear the police report or the news "robbers broke in to victims house on ****** street while said victim was jerkin his meat when theives broke in"
CovertMilitance 0
You aint from America. We dont say "wank"
johnnie254 7
did they steal your lotion?
Umdumb 0
because of this.... I now know what the term 'wanking' means.... thankyou