Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick." One more year… FML
Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML
Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML
Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I'd ordered an Xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML
Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML
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Top comments
Inkspell 2
Wow, wtf, i rather get nothing. lmao, what the hell, seriously though, just grabbing a stick and giving it to someone is worse than saying "sorry, don't have a present.."
HelloFlower 0
You can do SO MANY things with a stick. The possibilities are endless.
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Comments (141)
Wazilla 0
I love how all these people are comparing to third world countries, im guessing you guys get sticks for birthday presents too. Just becuase its third world doesnt mean every one is starving and in poverty. I'm pretty sure they have stick over there too.
Herropreez17 0
Now when you say f*cking stick.... O.o
slinkydee 2
did you throw it and tell her to fetch?
Belllatrix 0
suckish parents :(
yaknowiverse 0
yay!
Epikouros 32
Unless it's very polished, please put an extra thick condom on your ******* stick! You don't want splinters in your rectum.
lvl19virgin 0
Ungrateful shit I love stickball
dhbeaver 9
Use that stick wisely. Shove it up their asses!!!
NerdyEmoChick 3
Well, its just a birthday present. Not that bad. At least once for me, on my 7th birthday my mom had agreed to meet my grandparents and my dad at our house. She got drunk and started freaking out and decided to leave town. We didn't, but we just went to the store and she bought more liqour.
Smoxxii 17
It's something! :)