Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML
Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML
Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML
Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML
Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML
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Top comments
DarkJoy_fml 5
At least he wasn't sucking **** outside your house for gas money right???..........FYL OP
tmmundy 17
did you make him pay $3.50 a gal? or did you proceed to kick his ass?
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Comments (130)
disney_blonde 16
For $5 you can get a locking gas cap.
quadder 0
those don't do shit, a flat head screwdriver and a hammer and your in the gas tank
disney_blonde 16
Which would make a lot more noise than "splashing water".
t765234 10
With those supplies you could just steal the car instead.
shinydragonmist 0
you should have read the bible to him for seven hours
sabresrock 0
wtf
truehitman2010 0
chase him with a BBQ lighter
Nastysack69 0
I agree with darkjoy. woulda been funny to see that out the kitchen window. lol
quicheme45 0
Don't worry he'll be back.
sweetiffany 0
At least you don't have to live with him!
inthemillions 0
I don't understand how you would be able to hear that, also, why would there be splashing noises anyways??
Mokiikom_fml 8
You have clearly never siphoned gas out of your vehicle. :) I've had to do it a few times (to my car, not someone else's...), and let me tell you, the splashing noises are inevitable.
smoker316 2
Even Dads need gas too! LOL, Thats so messed up!
stroudie94 9
pull out a match and see how fast he runs!