Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML
Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML
Today, a truck rear-ended my car and drove off. I could see everything from my office, everything except his license plate. FML
Today, after waiting two hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML
Today, I parked my truck next to a rather large SUV at school, went to class for 8 hours straight, came back and found my passenger side door crumpled from where they had backed out and hit it. They left a note on my window that said, "Sorry about your truck, but I don't have insurance." FML
Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML
Today, while delivering for a building supply company, I was sent to an incorrect address. I attempted to turn around and got the 24-foot truck stuck in the mud. The homeowner left for work and then called the cops, saying someone was trespassing on his property. FML
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Top comments
RickySleeves 20
Where would you just get a giant dump truck??
Shadowvoid 33
Why and where does one get/have a commercial grade dumptruck?
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Comments (58)
ohSNAPyall 27
He's got dumps like a truck truck truck
NotYourAnon 10
Just one word to describe the feelings: dafuq?
Firecubitch 5
What a piece of trash your roommate.
bloodlusthatter 17
sounds kind of trashy ba dum tssss
horneyhic 15
Does he have his air brakes licence?
Polynomial 28
Might also need a CDL.
Polynomial 28
Been there, done that, with a 6x6 5 ton military transport though.
worldclassrager 41
Why behind your car, and with an excuse of there was a dump truck behind you as an excuse you were late will not fly that's do for sure...
THEGREATKEHOLIO 9
I feel like your roommate is an idiot, but at the same time I would definitely do the same thing.
Reasonable_one 12
You were going to be late anyway. Don't blame the dump truck. And your roommate having a dump truck is not a reason to be perpetually late going forward. So I don't understand this fml.
cfett199 8
Agreed, unless OP's "20 point escape" took him over ten minutes, or he was late by say, only a minute, he was late the moment he woke up late or took too long getting ready.
EarlFug 19
Just think of all the, uh, dumping you can do.