Today, and for a while, I've been on a dry spell, so I bust out my good old battery-operated boyfriend (B.O.B.) to break the spell. The film I found to assist in my task had actors who looked like my ex and me. I had the best orgasm I've ever had, while also bawling my eyes out at the same time. Therapy it is then. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I wanted to get my mind off my ex, so like any other guy I decided to watch some porn and jack it. I see one video with a familiar looking room so I click on it. Guess who I saw getting it from some dude? So much for forgetting about my ex. FML
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, it's been so long since my husband has been able to give me an orgasm that when he finally did today, I started sobbing. FML
Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML
Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it would be a romantic moment, but it turned out that "Saw 5" was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
Today, I cried while masturbating because I genuinely couldn't think of a single person that would fuck me in real life. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That's so ****** up, I doubt there's much a therapist can do. I think their best advice would be to stock up on heavy-duty batteries.
Plop 17
And tissues.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
That's so ****** up, I doubt there's much a therapist can do. I think their best advice would be to stock up on heavy-duty batteries.
Plop 17
And tissues.
Grizz8831 14
towels are washable, better for the environment. and plug-in as well, prevent sending a ton of batteries to the land fill.