Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML
Today, after being in the hospital for two days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I sang the Birthday song off-key but in a spirited way, before she interrupted to say, “My birthday was yesterday.” She then added, “By the way, your ex remembered, and I think we're besties now.” FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
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Top comments
xyzstephzyx 0
best friend...? Yeah, right. punch her in the mouth, that *****. happy birthday!
Aetius_fml 0
At least you have a cool dentist
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Comments (465)
gladiaintu 0
o sorry that SUCKS but at least your boyfriend and friend arent assholes anymore and that some ppl care about your birthday even if it is your dentist hook up with him
gladiaintu 0
yea and if u consider her a friend your life really does suck sorry u should beat that ***** until she is purple
GruntOfAction 0
Be happy someone remembered your birthday. All my Dentist ever did was rip out my teeth and bill me for it. Hell once my dentist didn't even put gloves on, she just pulled them out in the waiting room.
Yanim3 0
Did you at least fake cry in front of them because you received the news on your b-day and used that as an excuse to get some cash out of it? And consider dating your dentist.
o_ospacedout 0
That is soooo horrible, I can't even say how bad it is. You should sell the ring, punch your ex, slap your best friend and then brush and floss. Happy Birthday!!!
ryguy997 0
nice pic haha HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
mwz777 0
sorry. HB
Katee0_o 6
you spelled fiancé wrong. girls have two ee's (fiancée), and guys have one (fiancé).
ktlee 0
:'[ This actually made me tear up a bit. Mhm, but do not do anything to him or your best friend. Everything happens for everything. & obviously they just wanted to be with each other. Or probably to just have sex with each other? You deserve so much better! You deserve someone who actually loves you. Two wrongs don't make a right. Be the better person! I hope you the best.
vikki18 0
Happy Birthday :)