Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
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Top comments
Barhinder 9
You could say she was having a hoot.
Pleonasm 36
Did you know "too hot to hoot" is a palindrome- you can say it backwards and it reads the same way.
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Comments (83)
Twitch5253 4
Does she have feathers down there?
onorexveritas 24
that's funny xD "hoo! hoo! hoo!" lmao
BlueFlatts 20
Just be glad OP isn't a bird watcher.
Brittany_Love19 2
saw that coming.
Harshdfml 14
"owl sex"
yabbadabbadooyah 12
Imagine OP running into their parents room screaming "I can hear an owl!"
tjv3 10
This reminds me of the movie Porky's
ulissey_fml 22
She just couldn't keep mum, could she?
nyu2jh 4
Scarred for life...o.O
mosquito19 14
you don't know what an owl sounds like mate.