Today, while working as a masseur, a man requested a foot massage. This wouldn't have been an issue, had he not had at least 20 warts on his feet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML
Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML
Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I now have a plantar wart, chigger bites, and a brown recluse spider bite all in the same foot. FML
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Top comments
Ellimac21 14
Can FML moderators please add a "throwing up" smiley ?
alicelouise66 5
that is just gross
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Pop ‘em like bubble wrap!
alicelouise66 5
that is just gross
Ellimac21 14
Can FML moderators please add a "throwing up" smiley ?
kfchicken 31
lol they won't even add a proper voting system. you're still locked into what you first click after all these years.
nonameDE 11
Do you charge then extra, each one ?
Kristoffer 35
If you don't like your job, quit. Problem solved.
childlessmother 16
Sorry to be a bitch but warts or not it’s your job. If a 700 lb man wanted a massage you would have to massage his naked ass. 🤷♀️