Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I rushed home after my mom called saying our upstairs had flooded. Apparently, my little brother somehow broke the toilet while unsupervised and water overflowed everywhere. It even reached my closet, shoes, and books, and everything touching my floor in my room is now wet. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
Today, before we went out, my four year-old brother left the water running in the upstairs bathroom. By the time we came back, there was a flood in our entire house. Guess who was asked to mop it all up… FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
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Top comments
omgepiphany 0
Wow, your brother is one smart fella
wolfking 0
why is it that girls are always so adamant about leaving the seat down? do guys yell at girls if the seat is down, and we have to use the very small amount of effort needed to lift the seat? cause that's pretty much the same thing
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Comments (181)
LD_fml 0
your brother is awesome
amirn86 0
Don't listen to these jerkoffs lol even I as a man get upset when my brother leaves the toilet seat up. And guys come on whenever we go #2 we gotta sit down anyway right? So you're really helping yourself + ditto on the aesthetic value comment
ronton 4
If I take a crap, I'll put the seat down. If I put it down ahead of time, then have to piss, I gotta put it back up again.
greenman_fml 0
another reason boys brains are bigger than girls
farhil 14
another reason girls consider boys to be dumber. Just because a brain is bigger, it doesn't mean it is more intelligent. If you are already past 9th grade... I pity for the human race I'm a guy by the way
Yunie_fml 0
18 has a point, actually. Regardless, who the hell cares about whether or not the seat is up or down? That's a petty thing in life to bitch about.
fcryingoutloud 9
This was a non-issue in my home. Whoever needed to go to the toilet would just put the seat "their" way and leave it like that, so the burden of adjustment was split evenly. I can't get rid of the feeling that it's not really about convenience, but about who's boss in the family. Hence, I have no sympathy with either the "uppers" or the "downers", though evidently the latter are more numerous and more obsessed.
fmyalarmclock 0
Uhm, it's not about how much energy it takes to put the seat down. If the lid is up and you sit, you fall in. And no one wants to look at all the piss you splash around onto the toilet either. Regardless, I always put the lid down before I flush.
potatopeeler 0
How many toilets do you even have? The only reason he should have to put the lid down is if you have company regularly. It takes two seconds, do it yourself.
justshootmenow 0
Would it kill you to look?
Finnboghi 0
#5, I am so there. Let's do it.
RPGod 0
What is with women and raised toilet seats? Would it kill you to put it down? You're gonna wash your hands anyway (I hope)