Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML
Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
laestrellita 0
Leave them NOTHING!
mattypants 0
that is so messed up...and someone YDI this... I feel for ya
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (356)
tyty78_fml 0
Dear # 177 you are a waste of space and life. If you can support the poeple who fight so you can worry about the shoes you wanna wear, the **** off. You just wanna dog oon the military because they wouldn't take you cause you can fit 10 cocks in your mouth and 20 in you're ass!
NJXD 0
Hoo rahhh
Azulblue25 0
Some mom and did u have their messed up
Stophel 0
Yeah, if my family did that I'd change my beneficiaries.
rebelball9 0
Yeah you're right Marines' basic is way harder than all it takes to get to and get through Ranger School. Prick.
yclept 0
Simple, don't put them in your will.
insanelyXnikki 18
Well, you have to understand that there is always a chance that something could happen to you. After all, you're in the marines. They have to take those things into consideration at one point or another. It depends on what they said they would do with the money, though, that makes this a true FML or not. =)
Gyro231995 0
You should die to get back at them.
TreeHustler 0
Your logic is astoundingly and perplexingly solid. That is by definition the most PRACTICAL thing to do if he wanted to get back at them. You get an F. For Full of shit.
bbbgun225 0
I would get as far away from them as possible.
MissyJean213 0
OMG, that is terrible. If I was you, I would make anyone but them the beneficiaries, in case something did happen...