Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML
Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
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Top comments
laestrellita 0
Leave them NOTHING!
mattypants 0
that is so messed up...and someone YDI this... I feel for ya
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Comments (356)
alexxemery 0
hahahah! my mom and sister had the same conversation about me. i found it funny. i walked in and said idk what money your talkin about cause i best be gettin buried in pure gold wrapped in silk with that money.
alexxemery 0
oh and #241 army says hooah. navy says hooyah. and chair force makes a gargling sound cause they suck =p
gladiaintu 0
sorry to laugh at your pain but that is actually kinda funny and very messed up sorry
DJ_Applebeef 0
Hey bro thats messed up but I'm leaving this comment for the dude who called in the chairforce listen "bro" I'm in the airforce we got our shit together and if you think we are useless then I'd like to see you get in a gunfight in northern Iraq with insurgents outnumbering you 6:1 armed to the teeth with AK's and RPGs and when you piss your pants and call in for air support I'm gonna say, o wait, nah, I'm sitting in my chair comfy as hell and apparently I'm lazy and even though i defend this country people say we don't. So shove it dude, each branch is important just cause we don't do front line bullshit with M-16s dont mean we r lazy. piss off.
Manditaa 0
dude i feel sooo bad for you! my dad was in the Marines, and i just love the Marines as the best branch of service! try not to feel too bad, i will be praying for you, and i know you will return home safely, and spend that money yourself! haha. OOH RAHH DEVIL DOG! Semper Fi!
zkwaka 0
Write a will, and give all your money to the Marines. Give your mother & sister nothing. :)
upindust 0
i agree when yo ugo to meps and set up who gets the money.. give it to your friend
neferous 0
you have the option to leave the 400k to anyone. do yourself a favor and tell the recruter you changed ur mind. the contract doesn't really apply till u step of the bus at Parris island.
Sisterdark 0
nice family...
kman666 0
that's sucks wat a bitch