Today, while on the tramway with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the subway and there was a guy yelling, "Regret your sins and devote yourself to God right now." Another man got up from his seat and told him, "I work 12 hours a day and all I want is to go home and rest, you shut the fuck up or I'll make you meet God personally." FML
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, while on the bus, I started a conversation with the person next to me. After a little back and forth, she finally said, "Do you think people will stop talking to me if I say I have AIDS?" FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man chose to sit right beside me on the train. After making me uncomfortable with personal questions, he asked if we could be friends and hang out, both of which I shyly declined. He then accused me of being a racist. FML
Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML
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Top comments
Recon13x 9
Someone thinks highly of themselves.
Tripartita 45
What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us. Just a stranger on the… tram. It doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
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Comments (69)
isabelc 19
hahahahaha that guy's hilarious
moo77_fml 20
Ha ha ha.. Top marks for boldness
JKPwnage 27
TL;DR: OP met Kanye West on the train
GuyOnBridge 14
should've said that you were talking about the god of Erectile dysfunctions and Puberty.
Vlen_fml 20
I've never met anyone claiming to be god, but I did get a raving psycho saying i was the spitting image of brightest one of all, which I'm guessing makes me Lucifer. I can see the logic in that if you're loose with interpretations, what better punishment than leading a mediocre mortal life over and over on this dirt ball with no recollection of my divinity. I am named for a different Archangel though, old testament, Jeremiel (Ramiel/Remiel in the new testament).
iFurrhy 11
People like him makes atheists look bad.
zyero 9
Honestly it sounds like the guy had a ego and a sense of humor, and can keep a blank expression well
HawaiiThad 14
Biblical God, Jesus, heaven, hell, it's all fiction. Stop talking about it as if it's real.
mental asylum 13
god isn't real