Today, I went on a blind date. Things got hot and heavy, but when he pulled off my pants and saw the Pittsburgh Penguins logo on my thong he stopped and told me to get dressed and that he refused to sleep with the enemy. He was a die-hard Flyers fan. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I F*ck On First Dates". FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy. We went back to his place, and after getting it on, he rolled onto his back and told me, "You can put that on your Bumble profile, you got a good dicking" then helicoptered his dick around, thinking it was sexy. I missed the last train, so I walked home after that. FML
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I'd met on Facebook, we went back to his apartment. All was going good, until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
Today, I had a blind date. When I went to meet him, he shouted to my friend, “What the fuck dude? You didn’t tell me I’d be on a date with Miss Piggy! Fuck this shit!” and then stormed off. I haven’t had a date in 6 years and I bought the best outfit and got my hair done to make an impression. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
samsterling 19
Shame on you. Dating a minor is unethical.
stryder9090 28
Why don't you both make up and become Columbus Blue Jacket fans together?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
stryder9090 28
Why don't you both make up and become Columbus Blue Jacket fans together?
samsterling 19
Shame on you. Dating a minor is unethical.
dtut 15
First date? jesus..
GummyJellyfish 12
In his defense, if you'd bothered to wait for a few more dates to..i dont know...get to know the guy? You probably would have figured this out and gotten lucky by avoiding the thong.
Michael Piscitelli 5
BOTH TEAMS ARE GARBAGE
Mattyboy123 22
Pens. Back to back cup holders... guessing your an islanders fan. Hahah.