Today, I sat at work for eight hours daydreaming about the homemade four-cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending three hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, to treat the family, I cooked something nice in appreciation for sticking it out over the past few tough months. Unfortunately, I chose this one day to not wear my oven mitts when carrying the food to the table, spilling the food all over the carpeted floor. FML
Today, I got a burn on my foot from a Pot Noodle I didn't even want. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
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Top comments
AyeTee77 18
They don't want you to have ravioli.
swaglesshipster 23
Mr. Crab robot "Ravioli, Ravioli, give me the formuoli"
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Comments (68)
zebra3_fml 7
Life has a way of bitch slapping you. This is one of those instances.
warrior2 20
Oh no!!! I would've cried.
ayylmaoo 6
Should have let it cool in your pocketoli
ulissey_fml 22
Otherwise known as Murphy's Lawsagna.
ro1lola 5
This might be the best thing I've ever read in my life :)
kwilkens 15
I didn't come here looking for this, but I'm so glad I found it.
LyricaSilvan 30
15, you are one clever person.
AmericanBadAss 21
Do you think it might've been that 4th cheese that made it too heavy?
MrKdv 14
I still would've eaten it.
rldostie 19
Not going to lie, I would've scraped that shit off my seared skin and ate it anyways. That's too long of time invested to not eat it.
SixthSinEnvy 39
At the very least the effort demands a few bites, even if it's long past 5 seconds.
worldclassrager 41
Perhaps prepare and cook the same night?
shutupmichaela 18
but they worked for 8 hours beforehand and it takes 3 hours to prepare, it's just not practical my friend
Kiernan151 25
39, 18 probably means op should cook it on a day off
lukian_fml 29
Five second rule! It's still good!
chosha_fml 27
3 hours? You wouldn't last long on Masterchef.
trollcrusher 17
Then it's a good thing OP is probably just a regular human that cooks to feed themself, and doesn't need to be concerned with competitive cooking or something irrelevant like that.
chosha_fml 27
:) Overreact much? Three hours is still way too long to take to make cheese ravioli, even from scratch.