Today, I pushed my spinning clothesline around and walked off like a badass. A loose wire then whipped around the back of my head and caught me in the eye. I'm just so badass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was putting on my sweatpants and accidentally stepped on the elastic drawstring. I moved my foot. The string snapped upward with great speed and hit me in my open eye. My eyeball is not happy with me. FML
Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and bust my head on the floor. FML
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML
Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML
Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML
Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML
Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
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Top comments
ThePaperDragon 31
Looks like your clothesline has had enough of being pushed around.
ragnarok1540 39
Just slap on an eyepatch, and you'll be on your way to being a badass. All you need now is a hook hand, peg leg, tricorne hat, and a foul mouthed parrot and you too could be the scourge of ... laundry!!!
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Comments (18)
kowsee 22
Oh geez, hope there was no damage. Gotta love those days, when you're just that epicsaurus.
SpaceToast 25
At least the wound will make you look like a badass :)
Brandi_Faith 34
Until she has to tell people what really happened. Better come up with an awesome story. And if there's one thing FML has taught us, it's never try and be cool/badass/hot/sexy etc, cause it never works out. Lol
ThePaperDragon 31
Looks like your clothesline has had enough of being pushed around.
tigeresscrazy 12
Bad pun but still funny lol
Tripartita 45
Oh, wow, it's started off like that iconic scene in action movies where the hero… does their laundry. Wait, maybe you have a different definition of "badass" than me.
xxDeeStar 27
And now you get to wear an eyepatch. So that's definitely badass. On a serious note, hope your eye is okay.
ragnarok1540 39
Just slap on an eyepatch, and you'll be on your way to being a badass. All you need now is a hook hand, peg leg, tricorne hat, and a foul mouthed parrot and you too could be the scourge of ... laundry!!!
RichardPencil 32
That sounds like you were trying to do badass Morris dancing. Badass Morris dancers wear protective eyewear!
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
Don't see many backyards with hills hoists anymore...
emh86 14
We have one.. But the trees and bushes have taken over. We haven't used it in a few years..
cazza3 15
unfortunately my son will never get to know the joy of swing on one, best part of playing outside.
torrea 19
Ouch, careful badass.
swervelol 28
Am I the only one confused as to how spinning a clothesline makes you look badass?
MoroseMoose 47
I was wondering the same thing! Difference of opinion on what is badass I guess.