Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, after my mom moved our senile grandma in with us rather than find her a care home, she wakes up screaming at least once a night, and usually screams for a good few minutes. Then this morning she started throwing plates at me because she thought I was a criminal. It's only been four days. FML
Today, I informed my daughter-in-law that I’m a granny, not an unpaid, on-call 24/7 babysitter, and no, I will not be babysitting her kids all day so she can go to an all-day brunch with her similarly selfish girlfriends. She threw an actual tantrum and threatened to put me in a home. FML
Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML
Today, my daughter apparently has had enough of my mother-in-law's favoritism and constant bashing of me by telling her, "Grandma, might I highly recommend death at this point?" She's 7. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, my grandma is refusing to talk to me because I didn't answer her phone calls while we were at a parade. I was in it. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PlaySpades 21
Why would you let your demented grandma babysit your kid? That's just asking for trouble....
flipfloperson 5
Get over it, you damn commie...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (50)
4everblackjack 10
Oh be afraid.. Be very afraid.
GoW_Chick 15
Film it and put it on YouTube, your little one could become a overnight hit and then instead of people giving you the judging eye they'll be quoting your kid with their very own meme.
muckler 1
Hahahaha! Best advice on FML ever!
pslcdsl 9
Monkey see, monkey do. ;) nah just kidding, just don't let granny babysit or else she'll learn other new words.
perdix 31
You cheapskate! You put your daughter in danger by putting her in the care of someone who is so mentally impaired. At least you got to pay the old bat in rubles after convincing her the Soviet Union won the Cold War.
alexup24 13
what would lead her to think you follow north Korea or some other communist country?
alexup24 13
she's gonna start reading books on Marxist theories and its gonna get worse.
LookOnBrightSide 12
OP's child will follow McCarthyism when she grows up.
sweetdreams20 0
Why would you even let her babysit? Sounds like its even better for a HOBO to watch your kids then your grandmother
bitchwhore 20
Nah, he already blew his chance by throwing up on her car and asking for money afterwards.
teamsleep2212 0
Fuxking liar
ajlabat 3
You let your grandmother, who you know has dementia babysit? WTF is wrong with you? Be happy she is calling you a commie, alive and healthy. Really?
Shrike 24
Demented means sadistic or evil too. It's kinda obvious what OP meant. Jeez, buy a dictionary sometime. English isn't even my first language and I know that.
Michael_92 20
Want some ice for that burn?
niplipsip 9
31 - you're missing the point. either way, the word 'demented' is negative. why would you let someone who has dementia OR is evil and sadistic watch your child?
Shrike 24
I wouldn't, but she did cause she was going out on a date. Am I the only one that thinks OP's gran is just a little wacky? Why else would OP leave a 5 year old kid with her if she was actually abusive? Come on.
musicluvr2000 11
That. Is. Just. Sad.