Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I realized the fun of sneaking around on my girlfriend with her hot mom wasn't worth it when I found out that both my girlfriend and her mom have ended up pregnant. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has another girlfriend when she walked into his bedroom while we were having sex. I didn't drive there, so I'm now sitting in his car while they fight. It's been two hours since she got home. FML
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Top comments
summerbreeze888 10
At least she knows your being safe and responsible right? But that would still be pretty awkward
DocBastard 40
The only thing more awkward would be shopping with her FOR condoms for two hours. "Do you think this one would look good on him? Oooh! Wait, this one is ribbed AND has spermicidal lubricant! Get this one!"
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Comments (90)
MaaaanWTF 1
Keeping condoms in your car is kind of a bad idea. The constant fluctuation in temperature could damage them.
Ins_Knie 2
Wow, constant fluctuation...
ikickgingers 15
Flux capacitor?
fernclogger 5
Isn't everyone shopping with someone else's mom after that mom finds condoms in your car?
dcg1375 7
What??
TheJashinist 8
That's really awkward. I think I'd die a little on the inside.
bohemiangoddess 8
Whats more awkward is her finding a used one......
murdersquirrel 15
You're awkward,
WaSiSimiLang 8
They're water bombs for the kids! That's all they are! I swear!
salvorican 24
She's going to use them to make balloon animals duh
perdix 31
Is she in a hurry to become a grandma, or for her boy to catch whatever STD you are sporting? It could be worse it they are the new Trojan Minis: "The jimmy hat for the teeny peeny."
The_Hitdude 12
That's a little derping on your part. Why would you keep them in the car? Either your hiding spot was really easy (like in the trunk, under a seat, etc.) or your boyfriend's mom was snooping. If the latter, then this should teach her a lesson about being nosy.
1JDub 6
So, break the ice. Tell her she can get it too?
astralvagan 20
That is so epic!
hateevryone 15
she didn't bring it up?