Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I realized the fun of sneaking around on my girlfriend with her hot mom wasn't worth it when I found out that both my girlfriend and her mom have ended up pregnant. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has another girlfriend when she walked into his bedroom while we were having sex. I didn't drive there, so I'm now sitting in his car while they fight. It's been two hours since she got home. FML
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Top comments
summerbreeze888 10
At least she knows your being safe and responsible right? But that would still be pretty awkward
DocBastard 40
The only thing more awkward would be shopping with her FOR condoms for two hours. "Do you think this one would look good on him? Oooh! Wait, this one is ribbed AND has spermicidal lubricant! Get this one!"
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Comments (90)
jturner874 0
whenever my mom finds one of my condoms, I tell her this: "wouldn't you rather find one than NOT find one?
Okayitwasme 0
One out of two isn't bad... She didn't find your weed. That must be in a better spot. Your not thinking.... That's where the condoms should go too.
dcg1375 7
At least she didn't buy you a 20kg bag of carrots.
deck51er 3
I see what you did there.
kristen69 0
Haha funny!!! Good one.
shoopd 19
Depends on where you are. America - 16, just to be a pain in the ass. Everywhere else - 10.
camiguin 3
Ever heard ya shouldn't keep condoms in a wallet? For the same reason you shouldn't keep them in your car. If you're going to have sex and be smart about it at least be completely smart about it.
teacupkoi 9
Um...you shouldn't be keeping condoms in your car in the first place. Find a better place to hide them in your own room, THEN be smart and put some in your purse before date time.
planckit 6
Putting condoms in your glovebox or ash tray isn't really hiding them
onlychildFTW 34
They couldn't have been very well hidden if she found them. Unless she went searching through your car for them.
rubyliu8420 7
Not a very "secret" stash...ydi
Mkbitch 2
She's gonna let her son know so he better know they're in there!