Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Blue Springs, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Awkward pause
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
You just met his other girlfriend....
RoboCunnilingus 23
Now he probably thinks you're a jerk.
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Comments (71)
Crazynopantsman 11
Which could be a good thing depending on perspective. You could do the jerking for him!
Crazynopantsman 11
This was supposed to be a reply to #1, but I have no idea how to delete it.
perdix 31
He could have played it off that he was a left-handed tennis/racquetball/squash player. Of course, explaining why he got "tennis elbow" in his right arm would get that much more difficult.
little_one 20
Or he could lotion up both hands? Dual softness and you get a "stranger" for a couple nights.
AninOnin 24
I was going to suggest (and this goes to the rest of you guys, if you ever get into this situation in the future) that he say "Yeah, I'm in archery. I draw with my left hand, so it's a lot rougher than my right."
priiest 8
That's actually true for me
Enslaved 38
If you think that's soft wait 'til you touch his. . . Wait what?
diaosi 4
What?
amifaiyaz 12
we've all said stupid things to our crushes, but that is seriously one the most cases of foot in mouth I've ever read.
123man 11
Foot in mouth? You mean dick in hand, I think. Or we could mix around the two options up and really have some fun!
teh_doctor 4
Hand in foot! Hand in foot!
sharonaaa 2
Hahaha! I wish I could "like" that
SirEskimo 13
Ikr, if only there was a favorite button or something similar xD!!
andyyroxx 20
Lol! #yolo swag dgaf! Omg guise lmao! There is a favorite button. Or your sarcasm was from the ńth dimension and I couldn't register it.
JaneChemi_fml 21
25- go share this on fb then you can like it all you want
sirpantselot 22
No, even then he can only like it once.
PipingMouse 14
Maybe he did use lotion when he was rubbing his...Wait what?
HeartOfLead 24
This was established... multiple times.
bjdog98 9
Looks like you met his other girlfriend, Jill.
capodanno 4
I remember back in the day, someone said Jill was their gf. It took me months to figure out what that meant. And even then, only because another guy spelled it out for me. By holding up his hand and showing me the letters. Now it's my go to male masturbation reference.
Me1977 8
It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again...
zandalee 20
I just shuddered...
Me1977 8
Have the lambs stopped screaming?
DocBastard 40
You missed a golden opportunity. Instead of sitting there in stunned, awkward silence, you should have leaned in close, stroked his hand with yours, and whispered seductively, "But maybe now you won't need that lotion anymore..."
sugarshane007 20
Another missed opportunity on FML.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Doc, as your previous comments have suggested, you are not only a skilled and confident physician, a master in the art of sarcasm and puns, a wonderful father to your rather blessed children, a very faithful husband, and now you are revealing that you are a hopeless romantic and rather good at being seductive. Is there anything that you aren't good at? Other than stupidity, of course. You're wife, children, family, friends, and patients are all very blessed to have someone like you in their lives. I didn't think it was possible for me to admire you any more than I already did. We need more people like you in the world.
akiahara 14
Don't be a creeper, 97...
RebornUnicorn 16
I think its time for him to start "moisturizing" both hands so then it won't be so obvious