Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Blue Springs, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Awkward pause
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
You just met his other girlfriend....
RoboCunnilingus 23
Now he probably thinks you're a jerk.
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Comments (71)
RoboCunnilingus 23
Now he probably thinks you're a jerk.
sirpantselot 22
And he knows a thing or two about the jerk.
blackman100 20
Oh shit!!!
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
Where?? Maybe you meant to say cum or oh nut! No? Eh, I tried now go ahead and bury me alive! Lol
spinningrecords 14
Like his hand
shinymaster3000 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Make sure you think next time
Neyuu 18
We could say the same about you.
shinymaster3000 23
Okay
andyyroxx 20
Please put up a fight in the future. ^
therealslim 15
Haha, such a nonchalant response - "Okay"
shinymaster3000 23
Why would I put up a fight
doctorhook86 25
53: You're zen, bro. I like that.
ragini95 16
all of you need to stop being so aggressive and picking fights over everything. this community is psychotic sometimes.
Paco_el_Taco 17
You just met his other girlfriend....
JenkJenks 6
But don't worry, you can do plenty of things that she can only try to imitate.
pvtmeives 4
He's cheating on Jill? That bastard
AKGirlinSD 20
That's her name? I was wondering who the original girlfriend was ;). What's the name of his back-up girlfriend?
Catkam623 27
Anonymous:)
seeoseek 18
Rosie Palmer!
TrueTriage 16
Palmela Handerson
sux4u121 10
Barrack Opalma
BradTheBrony 19
uh Uh UH UM OH GOD MY TURN TO SHINE HERE WE GO NOW I'M GONNA BE GREAT PENIS ****
green2go 14
Handoff the grey
Wimoweh 10
Yeah it's Jill, just hold out your right hand, the thumb and index finger make the "J," the middle finger is an "I" and the ring and pinky are the "L"s.
RoboCunnilingus 23
My mind is blown right now.
McFappin 6
Haha
blackman100 20
Arnold Palmer.
mkid232 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think he might've been masturbating with his right hand. Just this vibe I'm getting.
HannahLouise96 13
No, really? Whatever gave you that idea?
sugarshane007 20
Nah, couldn't be that. He's some kind of phobic person that only uses self care products on one side of his body.
123man 11
Don't worry, I felt your sarcasm and appreciated it. Sometimes you gotta wear those down rates as a badge of honor.
sugarshane007 20
30,this is FML. We have high demands of people using sarcasm here. This one just fell a bit under that bar, even if it truly was sarcasm.
Neyuu 18
What's sarcasm?
BlitzPKF 10
@49 you're kidding right?
sugarshane007 20
Clever ploy 49, very clever.
Neyuu 18
I'm totes srs, 62.
BradTheBrony 19
Sarcasm? What's that taste like?
i_luv_dogs 10
It seemed like he was being sarcastic. If not, no shit Sherlock.
mkid232 15
How in the world was that too subtle? I guess my mind's eye and everyone else's differs, but good lord I didn't expect to get so many negatives...
kidreich 7
I hate you
bubina 14
What a wanker!
upallnight11 19
He really is a jerk off!
TheElBurrrito 21
He likes to be referred to as a Palm jockey.
oj101 33
OP, you have a golden opportunity. You can easily become girlfriend to the guy you like seeing as he's obviously single and horny.
lilhellian 27
He could be horny, but his gf doesn't wanna put out!
DjeePee 25
Somehow I find 6's comment rather sexistic towards men. It's a little strange to link masturbation to 1) being single and 2) desperately needing a relationship. You can be single, horny and yet keep some proper standards towards relationships.
folgy 10
DjeePee you're the first female I have seen who has actually defended a male stating they actually do want a deeper connection with a female other than sex. I salute you mam.
AKGirlinSD 20
I agree with 36. However, I dated a guy once who only thrived on masturbation, relationship or not. He said he could never depend on girls to fulfill his needs yet he had just got out of a 13 year relationship/marriage. When I would ask about why he liked masturbation so much better, he said it was to record his "memories." I dodged a bullet with that one!
DanielleinDC 34
Even guys in committed relationships **********. That he wanks a lot doesn't mean he's desperate, although it may mean he's horny. Or it just means he's human.
sugarshane007 20
Hey, this is something he should be proud of. He is not afraid to take the hands on approach to life!
_1296 10
Ooh, I see what you did there. :p and it deserved more thumbs ups than it got.
need2sleep 15
Soooooo I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Rosie. Oh and did I mention she had 5 sisters!?? Doh! And I agree with #6
OptimusVader 23
I thought her name was Palmela Handerson?
ohhhsnapple 14
I thought her name was Jill...
BulldogHoops 14
Handgelina Jolie
DanielleinDC 34
Miss Michigan.
thatonename 7
Can someone explain miss Michigan without getting moderated? I tried google and got nothing...
kozzard 17
look at a map, its roughly shaped like a mitted* hand
cosmosis 12
Mrs Palmer and her five daughters.
chinchilla417 12
*four* daughters. unless you have six fingers on one hand; if that is the case, feel free to ignore this comment.
nygyrfan 10
Jerk?
eyesmile27 7
At least he's good at playing the one-hand-fiddle.