Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said, "Not in a million years, fat ass!" before I could say it was from someone else. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML
Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML
Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me, talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "So… does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML
Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML
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Top comments
Astraea 0
oh that sucks really. Im sorry for you you should have punched her in the face.
jayjaysmokerson 0
you should have told that bitch to suck it.
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Comments (144)
benshady 0
Why do you pass notes in class. What happened to texting?
mariahrawks 0
@snicker Why must you argue with people? You know, nobody would be a b*tch to you if you weren't so rude on the other posts. Jessh, and your picture makes you look like an ugly 12 year old. Don't say the same about mine because I uploaded it a whiiiiiile ago and I can't change it because I'm mobile. :)
NomnomRaptor 0
Wow. Calm down, she's obviously joking.
lilubird 0
wow! look at dem fangs!
droppintacos 0
damn snicker you don't shut up.
beer01 0
Shoulda said "weight can be lossed cheaply, but ugliness inside and out is hard and expensive to lose."
Smilzen 0
Every time I stumble into the FML comments, munch a non-topical flamewich lathered in trollsauce and fried in bitter batter, I promise myself it's the last time. ..... But it's just so damn tasty.
EllyH 0
what a bitch!
mohawkjoe311 0
i'll give her my special Urine Enema!
Blue_Black_fml 21
and snicker at #13 "now you know she doesn't like you"..he wasnt seeking to find out if she liked him or not.. and you are actually passing judgement when you say that his life must suck if he's overweight.
suzzette_fml 0
I would have been like: as if I would want a bitch like u, I could do so much better, this is from...
rufusnsmegma 0
****
2pac_45 0
49!!!!!!hahaha
whataloadofbull 0
Snick, I'll say this for your benefit and for everyone else's benefit: Take that hammer out of your ass and stop it with the pedantic attitude. It's really annoying.