Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, I went to McDonald's to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I saw someone at the buffet get two plates in a row. I told my date that, “People nowadays have no self control.” Unbeknownst to me, he was within earshot and told me, “FYI, I was getting a plate for my disabled mother.” After dinner, my date unmatched me and blocked my number. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
And then you felt foolish for acting like an idiot and jumping to conclusions, so you did the right thing and told the attendant to give the other guy your food, right? Right?
rudegirlmania 10
You're a little crazy.
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Comments (105)
laserbeak 12
Thank goodness you weren't eating at a fast food restuarant. You would probably freak out cause almost everyone is eatig the same thing.
catherinek 9
You're insane and sound like an uptight bitch
imyourmom 7
you're too dumb to insult... never go full retard bro..
dead_insects 18
you....are a dipshit.
gavo 8
jackass
CrookedCook 14
uhh f his life
softrally 15
Never jump to conclusions.
squirrelicious 7
For the move that you did you deserve the bonehead of the day award!
gravekill3r 1
U dumb
suumbuum 13
Aha be more alert next time