Today, my husband tried to use his "grief" over his grandmother's death to manipulate me into giving him a blowjob. In the toilets. During the funeral. With his family only a few yards down the hall crying their eyes out. What an asshole I married. An absolute asshole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend tried to use his “grief” at the death of a coworker to get butt sex, even though I know for a fact he didn’t like the guy that much, and just last week wished for the guy to get hit by a bus. Pretty despicable way to try get back door access if you ask me. FML
Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
Today, my date cried because his mom recently died. Of course, I was sympathetic because I'm a nice person, but he tried to leverage my sympathy into a blowjob in the restaurant toilet. Since we "obviously weren't going to work as a real couple", it was apparently "the least I could do to make him feel better." Creep. FML
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my ass of a husband to be stood me up at the altar. He embarrassed me in front of everyone. It was humiliating. All because apparently he’s now not OK with the mistake I made. Yes, I slept with your father, but don’t say you forgive me then leave me crying in front of everyone. FML
Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
Today, my husband cracked a "Rectum? Damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML
Today, I found out that my grandma passed away the morning of my wedding a couple of days ago and my (soon-to-be ex) husband and so-called family all conspired to keep it a secret from me so as not to upset me. FML
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Top comments
acmariner99 25
Well you could always blow some divorce papers his way.
coolmike699 26
You can't ask for a funeral blumpkin, that's grounds for divorce.
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Comments (42)
ARISKomuniszt 24
Manipulation at the expense of others for personal gain? Psychopathy alert...
Jerry Leberer 12
really? calling your husband names on a public forum? that's mature and I hope he sees this
Reckless87 7
You didn't say you didn't do it? 😂
clayscot 1
Sex is super comforting and if you see it as a way of connecting with your husband and comforting him you would understand. place not so comfortable, but funerals mess people up and they dont think about practicality.