Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I needed to move out. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
Today, at 6 a.m., the cops burst into our home. My husband was slammed to the ground and I had a gun pointed at me. I was naked and eight months pregnant. We had moved in the day before, they were coming to arrest the previous tenant. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I respectfully asked my landlady if he could stay with me until he gets back on his feet. He was robbed at gunpoint in his house last night. Landlady then yelled because we aren't married, and then showed up at my door at 10pm, "just making sure John isn't here". FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
close the door and go back to bed, problem solved.
ImThePope 2
Time to inform him you two are done?
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Comments (156)
MRobvious750 0
Mmmm that seems a little to quick to move in together but what do I know?
shadow33456 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think you should let him stay awhile.
The_Voytek_Bear 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for dating a married guy...
you_freak 7
What if she didn't know he was married? A bit harsh I think.
Livinia 11
Sounds like a keeper.
Olovio 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a pussy, getting kicked out of his OWN house.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Yeah because he cheated on his OWN wife. That's why he's a pussy, and he absolutely deserves it.
Alexitis1 3
^win
Cinn_fml 23
Did you know he was married? Though the only thing that really affects is whether or not you deserve it or if it totally sucks. However, he's a cheater, and now you definitely know that, it's your choice whether or not you stick with him to give him the chance to change or if you kick him to the curb for it. But I suppose if you already knew, you'd probably be sticking with him...
cobras40 0
break the arm walk away
D347HxD 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Think on the bright side, the person at the door was not a murderer, which means your should be ex boyfriend saved your life!
CitrusGirl 0
But there wasn't a murderer there to start with.
ackboy24 0
closed the door and go back to bed
quadder 0
slam the door in his face and go back to bed
DarkHelmet 10
WIN