Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I needed to move out. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
Today, at 6 a.m., the cops burst into our home. My husband was slammed to the ground and I had a gun pointed at me. I was naked and eight months pregnant. We had moved in the day before, they were coming to arrest the previous tenant. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I respectfully asked my landlady if he could stay with me until he gets back on his feet. He was robbed at gunpoint in his house last night. Landlady then yelled because we aren't married, and then showed up at my door at 10pm, "just making sure John isn't here". FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
close the door and go back to bed, problem solved.
ImThePope 2
Time to inform him you two are done?
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Comments (156)
aaronruark 2
you didnt say if you new he was married so ha your fault
chadcat 1
tell him your husband wouldn't allow it.
chaleighrae7 4
whoreee.
schalk 12
Isn't "a few weeks" enough time to notice something's not right? Does he hide family photos and stuff every time you visit? I say get to know someone before you date (you know, for example, group dates and not go home with him etc). You read FML OP, you should know better.
Likeee_A_Boss 2
suck dick ! your fault
firecapez 4
Facepalm
instigat0r 0
homewrecker...
sealed_with_a_sm 2
is he hot???:P
patriciadusud_fml 8
One day, I found out the "single" guy I was dating for only two weeks was in fact living with his 3 months old pregnant girlfriend. I ended the relationship straight away. Few days later, his girlfriend called me to say that her boyfriend was madly in love with me, that I was the woman of his life... and that she was accepting that he leaves her for me because she wants his happiness..... Scary, isn't it? the world is getting crazy...
DIESINBLOOD 0
O_O Shit, brah...
hateevryone 15
hell no. send his ass to a shelter