Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I needed to move out. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
Today, at 6 a.m., the cops burst into our home. My husband was slammed to the ground and I had a gun pointed at me. I was naked and eight months pregnant. We had moved in the day before, they were coming to arrest the previous tenant. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I respectfully asked my landlady if he could stay with me until he gets back on his feet. He was robbed at gunpoint in his house last night. Landlady then yelled because we aren't married, and then showed up at my door at 10pm, "just making sure John isn't here". FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
close the door and go back to bed, problem solved.
ImThePope 2
Time to inform him you two are done?
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Comments (156)
chlorinegreen 27
make room. sounds like he may be staying for awhile. sucks if u didn't know he was married.
poiuytjfffc 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
oooooohh maaaaaaaaan, sounds laaaaaaaame bro
ShadyFTW1 0
Dooooooooo yoouuuuuuuui speakk whale?
bgo7 0
I feel like people who cheat are jerks! they only care about themselves and that's just shitty on their part
PeteyPablo12308 20
Lmfao^^
littlemissFYL 5
make room? that hoe better get out of her ******* house.
PrinceFroggy 0
Was OP like, "ummm no" (name)
dolphincheddar 10
I would give him a small cardboard box and some cheesies and a begging cup and send him on his way! besides cheesies cheer everyone up. even bums and emos
kcluna 6
I'd do as the wife did!!
BellStarr90 0
Lmao that's defiantly a good idea!
missy_lynn012 0
at 62 it is defiantly a bad idea lol
sterlingarcher 1
haha sucks for you
corporatescoundr 25
I'm actually wearing the exact same hat right now! but yeah op... lock the door on his cheatin keister *my Granpa's voice*
chlorinegreen 27
it's called being sarcastic. I would of just told him no vacancy and shut the door.
falluke17 0
ydi for being from kansas
Jimster1712 0
thats a lame cover up for "first"
chlorinegreen 27
It's better then yelling "FIRST" or just saying one word get over yourself.
ImThePope 2
Time to inform him you two are done?
ilovecheeer 0
Agreed.
raeraymusic1 0
agreed
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Agreed
leeshxx 3
*sits back and waits for combo breaker comment*
Tcaret300 12
**COMBO BREAKER**
spartanfan68 0
agreed
ImThePope 2
There was already a combo breaker.... why are you still continuing? o.o'
docscientist 10
95 - agreed
RedPillSucks 33
C-C-C- CO.... Damn It!!!!!
Fenteliman 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
My friend, that sucks something fierce.
ImaWiseGuy 5
a good time? that's perfect time!!!
sexy_lola21 0
well FYL .. unless you knew he was married then YDI.
flickyourbic1223 7
I feel bad for the wife. I don't feel bad for OP at all of she knew he was married!
missy_lynn012 0
I have a feeling that she didnt know, otherwise this wouldnt really be an FML.
carlabelle 0
Agreed.
darkerkiller89 0
lol
sunshine_today23 0
I hope you didn't know he was married!
FMLollie 7
FYL OP if you didn't know he was married you should do the same as the wife he's been lying to you too. Or if you knew then you should of expected something like this to happen.
Cairo_Sanchez 8
close the door and go back to bed, problem solved.
you_freak 7
Well played Sir!
bsmith9942 11
agreed
FNFPhilly 0
kudos to the win comment
MuchDance90s 0
agreed
iLazy 0
Tell him your husband should be arriving from his overseas any time soon.
FFML_314 12
Date his wife.
CateXOX 0
You've been gone for so long!!!
FFML_314 12
I've been lurking in the shadows. Watching over the townsfolk.
iLazy 0
(continuation of 15) I'm running out of time I need a doctor Call me a doctor I need a doctor, doctor to bring me back to life~
teameminem 2
i told the world one day I would pay it back..