Today, I was at a family reunion, but I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and get it on." My husband turned around. It was my uncle, wearing the same hat as my husband's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a family reunion and there were a lot of people there that I didn't know. The person that I'd been sleeping with for about 7 months showed up. He's my cousin. FML
Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML
Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML
Today, I went to a family reunion and made the mistake of wearing the same shirt as my cousin, who is known for always wanting to be the center of attention. She took one look at me, pointed, and said, “Oh, I see you’re copying me now, huh?” Then, my aunt overheard and said, “Well, she is your cousin, so it’s not like it’s a crime.” FML
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend after we went to my family reunion. I heard him complaining that I didn't have any "slutty cousins" he could cheat on me with. FML
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
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Top comments
kings1fan 6
Look on the bright side. Your uncle doesn't know you hate your family. He just thinks your horny as hell!
coolkid_matt 11
Awkward! :S
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Comments (133)
latinjukes 2
Hmmmm! Your uncle must have been extremely happy or extremely freaked out.
bizarre_ftw 22
And which ever one he was, she was the other. Think about it. It works ^_^
KiddNYC1O 22
You're so cool flashing your rent money!! Lol.
seanders 10
$12... Now that's gangsta
nixter5 18
76- if you turn your head right, the first bill is actually a Benjamin. I don't know about the other ones.
DarkHelmet 10
Tell the truth OP you went ahead and banged the uncle didn't you
bizarre_ftw 22
Of course (guessing I'm not the op)
immortal628 20
The only thing left to do at that point is convince them that you've had a complete mental breakdown. Works for me when I accidentally hit on my uncle.
bizarre_ftw 22
It wasn't too hard to convince them huh? Did they ask "how long" and start talking about high school?
Im2Handsom 1
If I was the uncle I would of laughed my ass off.
bizarre_ftw 22
Freakin' awesome pic!! Where'd you find it?!
awagh666 14
So did you have a 'union' at the reunion???
iBilal 0
who go to famly ruiniuns thes daysz?
bizarre_ftw 22
The girl expecting a check from her parents (my best guess as to why)
ohmandapants 17
I almost had a brain aneurysm trying to read this comment.
lidsthesquid 4
Wow, I'm hoping you're a little kid because if not there's no turning back :/
iBilal 0
LOL calm down I wanted to see how many thumbs down I can get for bad grammar
jobsman99 0
so was your uncle better in bed than your husband? you could have done a threesome and compared immediately.
fckyouwhore 0
Hahhaah did he bang you in the end?:)
lil_ham1644 29
She wasn't interested in banging, she wanted to "make love!" ( imagine the last 2 words being said in a mocking tone)
Deathhound 27
Oh my, that has to be awkward for you! :I
FruityLoooons 8
That. is. hilarious. Pff, I wonder what was going through your uncle's mind.
bizarre_ftw 22
Hey honey! I- oh it's her?.... Well she's got some nice **** and that ass is really working on her.. I wonder why she wore such a low cut top and- wait.. I think that look means she wasn't talking to me. Crap!!! Now I really ******* want to hit that! Where's the bathroom? You know what? Screw it! Where the **** is her sister, I did that kid when she was 5 I can probably do her again now. Now you know
dd809 9
Ew. What an unbelievably "mature" sense of humor you have