Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Today, I had to sit and listen in mortification as my mother tearfully told our therapist how much sleep she loses over my being morbidly obese. She doesn't seem to care that I'm body positive and happy with the way I am. FML
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML
Today, I was told how cruel and selfish I am for rubbing my weight loss in my mom’s face. I’ve literally begged my mom to walk, jog, workout with me for months. She went exactly once. She complained the whole time, then called me a bitch for finishing my run while she sat in the car. FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
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Top comments
Flyndaran 10
Why would a usually male **** fetish have any effect on young women's level of activity and diet?
Tripartita 45
"Dude, I just had the weirdest fever dream about a road trip and BBW ****—hey, what app is that?" "Oh, it's the FML app. Anyway, continue telling me about your dream." *a few days of moderation later…*
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Comments (28)
manuwish 9
haha your mom sounds like fun :) she can't be serious, so is probably looking to develop your debating skills ;) moms are great! even and especially the ones who tick a little offbeat ;)
undebatable52419 5
some ppl do think gaining weight makes them sexier. look up stuffers
Sinkmybattleship 3
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching **** too. FML This has to be the same family.
freedom111 7
Ah. So girl on girl action must be the root of homosexuality. You mom is a genius!
smallandroid 26
Yes, that must be why homophobia and racism are over, because **** that fetishizes lesbians and people of color is so popular. :)
MustangElly 6
Meh. I'm slowly losing the extra weight, but I see nothing to complain about if it's become more acceptable to find people like me attractive as we are, too. Anyone who thinks a work in progress has to be inherently ugly is missing out on so much beauty in the world. (also missing out on some legitimately really awesome female forms)
Cavsfodawin 21
It is.
freddygasman 18
she's the type of person that probably thinks anorexia is a healthy lifestyle just because you're not overweight. i prefer not to see ribs and collar bones myself.