Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML
Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he needed to wash his sheets more often after I discovered the same wet spot from the last time I slept over. He shrugged and said, “What’s the big deal babe? It’s your spot.” It’s been over two weeks. FML
Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML
Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
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Top comments
RESTAREA 0
He cut up a bunch of perfectly good bed sheets? You guys have done it on enough bed sheets to make a patchwork out of it? You don't wash the sheets afterward? This is disturbing on many levels... Something is wrong with the both of you
coopcas 0
Give him a sweater you knit out of the pubes he makes you shave off.
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Comments (132)
plexico 4
That is beautiful. Your boyfriend is indeed a romantic. What do you want for your anniversary -- a ******* Care Bear? A few thoughts: 1) A wet spot is not just **** -- it's a blend of his spooge and her vaginal secretions. 2) What are you doing with the sheets with the squares cut out of them? 3) When he's gone, do you smell it to recall your sexual encounters? 4) Be glad that you first year yielded a blanketful of stained squares. After a few years of marriage, you'll be lucky to get a handkerchief! 5) What are the washing instructions on that thing? 6) I can imagine that you will have your bridal registry at Linens & Things. It was a very thoughtful gift, even it you think it is so weird that it was an FML. Your boyfriend can do better, he ought to dump you for a girl that will be licking that blanket instead of whining about it.
murderoticadam 0
Possibly one of the funniest things I've read on here in a long time.
nikki1001 0
@71: "6) I can imagine that you will have your bridal registry at Linens & Things." Probably not since they went out of business ;) I, too, am curious about what is going on with these cut up sheets.
plexico 4
Yeah, I know, I was going to put a disclaimer, but I know of no other well-known business where sheets or linens are in the name itself. It's like you are still going to be able to joke about Bennigan's for a few more years.
spamme 0
if that is not romantic then I dontn know what is!!! just kidding xD
gclunax 0
Lol agree wit sexymessy :]
21icefox 0
eewwwww
Shyman4ever 0
Coopcas, #13. That was the most epic comment ever. Lmfao knitting a sweater out of pubes. Great comment.
worldjudge 0
LOL, oh yeah. he's a keeper
Fett 0
the first 3 comments are epic
gfy 0
Gross.
murdermygymsox 0
oh my God that's creepy and ******* nasty!
OverEnthusiast 0
AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA Thank you so much for that XD FYL... heehee....