Today, I walked into the kitchen to see my dad peeing into a cup. We made eye contact and he quickly threw the cup into the sink. Not one word has been spoken about what happened, and I saw my mom use the same cup later on that day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML
Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML
Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML
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Top comments
Paws_Cat 29
Well, time to burn all the cups and mugs in the house, something tells me this wasn't the first time he's done this..
Kidd_Ant 18
Pretty close to the literal meaning of "who pissed in your cereal this morning?"
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Comments (32)
Paws_Cat 29
Well, time to burn all the cups and mugs in the house, something tells me this wasn't the first time he's done this..
Kidd_Ant 18
That's the perfect picture of Brandon Rogers.
wow2mylife 25
or get plastic cups for you self
unsealingkale 18
HALL MONITOR HELEN
Kidd_Ant 18
Pretty close to the literal meaning of "who pissed in your cereal this morning?"
OneOnJuanAction 22
IAYLS, but you should've told your mom.
Phantomsnake 10
Serve him with a nice cup of your dog pee.
RingKaKing91 10
At least he didn't pee in her food.
fakedsincerity 32
No. Just in the mug which she drank from. How is that better? D:
tantanpanda 26
It's better because you can wash a cup out with soap and water. Urine isn't harmful to drink as its sterile. It's still nasty, but what she doesn't know won't kill her.
Vipera_fml 7
#20, Urine is only sterile in the bladder. It's still nasty, even if you did wash it.
justanormalone 16
Couldn't he just go to the bathroom like every normal human being would just do?
Tsumetai_ 11
I think he did it on purpose knowing it was his wife's cup, perhaps it was a gross petty revenge for some argument. whatever the reason it's still pretty messed up. :/
cheshireau 26
Did you say anything to your Mum? Jesus Christ, that's disgusting.
Kittycorn 17
I hope for your mum's sake that the cup was washed in the meantime.
OtakuTaco 15
Hopefully she washed it first. It was in the sink, right? So she knew it was "dirty" at least.
kafka13 9
why didn't you ask him for explanation? what the hell is wrong with him?